Lizard People’s Lives Matter!

Okay, look, the US has been nuts for a while now.  I mean, c’mon, just look at the last year or so!  But let’s be honest here, in spite of all the frustrations, life goes on.  In spite of all the anger, there still is enough of the ridiculous to make us smile.

Jewish space lasers! Wait…hold on…that needs more emphasis…

JEWISH SPACE LASERS!!!

There, that’s better. There really is nothing to do other than smile, take a drink and offer the most profound and heartfelt of thanks that the universe still has a sense of humor.

I can’t be the only one who thinks this particular moment in time is just crying out for a new Mel Brooks to come along and absolutely skewer, well, everything.  I mean, after the “JSLs” there just has to be a sequel to his “Jews in Space” bit!

It is, by the way, about time for this level of ridiculousness. More than that, it is about time the QAnon crap finally turned out something to benefit normal, sane people. The latest round of Q-inspired silliness is beginning to breath new life into a conspiracy-theory-world that was starting to get pretty moribund and boring.  It has been decades since a new conspiracy really gained ground.  Hell, the best we could do until now has been the 9-11 Truthers and Obama Birthers, and neither of those conspiracies is worth a damn.

Honestly, conspiracy theorists are still relying on the old-hat “truths” of the lizard people and alien greys, of the Illuminati and Rosicrucians, and — of course — of the Rothschild-Soros-Gates-Zuckerberg-Jewish cabal running the world from some underground lair.  Sadly, the Flat-Earthers are nothing more than a Youtube channel at this point, and the Fake Moon Landing folks aren’t even that.

Of course, you also have to ask yourself: did we really have to sink all the way down to Satan-worshipping pedophiles eating babies in the basement of a NY pizza parlor in order to finally get some new conspiracies going?  I mean, sure, that one has a certain humorous ridiculousness to it, but it really only works as a stepping stone to the Jewish Space Lasers.

You have no idea just how much recent events are pushing me to search (again) for that compelling voice and character that would allow me to pick up the conspiracy theory stories I shelved a few years ago.  Until that voice and character come to me, however, all I can do is dust off a few of the more entertaining conspiracy theory books in my collection and start reading.  Ah, what would I do without Foucault’s Pendulum?  God, I love that book…

And remember — the Air Force only pretended to decommission Cheyenne Mountain.  I mean, do you really believe that massive complex, with its secret chambers a thousand feet below the fake command center, is just sitting there collecting dust?  Not with Jewish Space Laser out there trying to burn the country!

Err, excuse me…I seem to feel some flashfiction coming on…

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