Flashfiction: “No Way To Go Through Life”

Completely random flashfiction piece for today.  There was nothing I particularly wanted to write about, then I read a funny comment on a website and decided a bit of silliness was in order.

But…inspiration?  What inspiration?  Of course there’s no inspiration, this is purely internal!  


No Way To Go Through Life

Okay, so the horse thing was a mistake.  Hey, even the best pranks can get away from you.

I had a choice to make this morning.  A choice about yet another lecture on Nietzschean dynamics in the early Shakespearean sonnets, or about the half-full keg left from last night.

The keg died well.  Well, she died fast, anyway, and that pretty much qualifies as well, doesn’t it?  But…then…

But then, after that start to the day, what do you do when there’s nothing left in the house?  What were we gonna drink for lunch in a couple of hours?!

So it became a quest, then, to reload our supplies.  We were innocuous.  We were innocent.  We were like any other student walking across the campus.  Sweaters and coats worn against the crisp fall air provided camouflage against easy observation.  Oh, they weren’t ours, those coats — there are always coats and sweaters, shirts and pants, left after a party — but they were enough to get us past the library without raising the alarm.

The administration building, however, that presented a more serious obstacle.  I don’t quite know why, but the folks in that building always seem to be watching for us. 

A curtain moved while I was out in the open.  Uh-oh. I had to move, and I had to move fast. 

You would be surprised how fast I can be, with the proper motivation.  All I had to do was get behind the cars in the lot.  A bit of crouching, and some creative duckwalking, and from there I could find real shelter behind the music hall.

The others saw my predicament, but they could do nothing to help.  The mission comes first.  The mission always comes first.  We all knew that, we all accepted the risks.  “No man left behind” was simply not an option, not with the stakes for which we played.  A look from them, and nods all around, and they were off at a sprint.

At least someone would get through, I sighed to myself.

Behind the cars, I watched for my chance.  Another rustle of the curtain and I tensed.  A creak from the door — that hinge had been quiet, once, until I spent a long night working on it — and I knew the threat was coming near.

I could not be captured, I had to escape!  It didn’t matter if the coast was clear, I had to run…

God, I was like the wind.  I flew across the grass in a beeline for the shelter offered by that far-too-distant pile of bricks.

Noise behind me, and I ran even faster.

I didn’t make it.

Pounding feet behind, then a hand on my shoulder.

“Son…” the deep voice said, puffing almost as bad as was I.

The others…I couldn’t see them.  They had survived!  I looked up, then, defiant and ready to fight.

My captor was stern, as he always was when he began to lecture, “I’ve said it before…”

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