Bettin’

So, every year I make bets on the coming football and hockey seasons.  Oh, I don’t bet anything more than beer money, but it’s still a way of setting in stone my “predictions” for the coming season(s).  It’s a way to hold myself accountable for my own big mouth as far as what I think is going to happen.

For the record, I put down $40 on the Broncos going 5-11 this season.  I still have a pretty good chance of coming out of that one with a win.

The real world is a hell of a lot more important than any sports season, however.  Err…well…kinda.  It’s not more important than the Kings winning the Stanley Cup, of course, but any other season…

Ahem.  Never mind.

Back to my big mouth…err, big fingers in this case.  I’ve expressed thoughts and opinions to family and friends for the last several weeks.  I’ve made predictions about the election, and the direction of the country, but I haven’t put anything “in stone.”  I haven’t put anything out there that can come back to bite me in the ass the way a losing ticket at a sports book can…not to mention a losing ticket with a street corner bookie.

So, well, screw it.  I’ll put down my markers for next Tuesday, then we can all be suitably impressed at how brilliant and far-seeing I am.  Or, more likely, we can all laugh at my world-class moronicity.

First bet — and for this one I’m dropping a c-note.  A hundred bucks says we do know the winner of the Presidency by lunch on Wednesday.  Oh, not every vote in the electoral college will be finalized, but enough will be clear and known to have an actual winner.

I’ll even add a little extra action on this one.  An extra twenty says none of the eight hundred million (inevitable) lawsuits reach the Supreme Court.

Second bet — fifty bucks says the Senate stays Republican, but falls to 51-49.  Most of the seats stay in the same party, with the following exceptions: Collins (R) loses in Maine, McSally (R) loses in Arizona, Gardner (R) loses Colorado, and Collins (D) loses Alabama.

There’s no bet on the House, by the way — the odds of that one changing are just too weak to have any kind of payoff.  The only question is how many seats the Dems will pick up, and I’m far too lazy to study 435 races to figure out what’s what in there.

Okay, so that really just leaves the big one.  As a note, I leave my own beliefs and prejudices aside when I do any kind of analysis.  I’m actually pretty good at that…which, I think, is partly a reflection of why I find it so easy to get inside the heads of so many (very) different kinds of people/characters…

Third bet — fifty bucks on this one, with Biden winning with 52%.  If I could bet margin-of-error I would say plus or minus one percent, but that bookie on the corner, he’d make me lay another hundred in prop bets to pull that off, so 52% it is.

Oh, and an extra credit bet — I’m still laying, well, my life on there being a civil war by 2030.  Talk about a bet that I’d rather lose!

So, next week…

Next week, I’ll either be writing a smug, I’m-so-brilliant post…or I’ll need to borrow twenty bucks for beer.

P.s.

I was chatting with the two folks working at “my” coffee shop this morning.  As I was sitting back down with my newly refilled mug of coffee, one of them said to the other, “He reminds me of my dad..”

*sigh*

That giant meteor really can’t come fast enough.

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