Let’s be honest, there is nothing in this world more annoying, addictive, depressing or life-destroying than Facebook.
Meth, I hear you cry? Cocaine? Oreos?!?
None of those — not even Oreos, for chrissakes! — can hold a candle to the evil that is Facebook. Crap, even Sheev-freaking-Palptatine thinks Facebook is too creepy and invasive!
Now, astute readers will remember that I gave up my (very, very) fake Facebook account right after they stopped letting blogs like mine post automatically to a page…
Montana, unfortunately, is till stuck firmly in the early 2000’s…which I suppose is an improvement over where it could be.
The best — and only(ish) — place to find real rental housing here in Gardiner, Montana, however, is through the Facebook page. Well, through that page, or through Madge at the coffee counter at the gas station. But, if want to find a place, you have to make sure to catch her before she goes off to clean the bathrooms, or she’ll just forget whatever it is you wanted…
And I thought I had left behind small-town West Virginia when I left Maine…*
*Yeah, that’s a joke — go out and get your own damned cognitive dissonance if you don’t like it!
I haven’t accessed the “Jeremy Blake” Fakebook page in almost a year, goddamit, so just how does anyone with half a brain expect me to remember his (fake) fucking birthday in order to log-in?!?!?
Is moving really worth all this really effort? I ask myself.
Oh, hell yeah! I had to bug out of the staff housing I was living in — thanks, YF, for kicking me out right at the start of the COVID-19 lockdown and Montana’s “second winter! — and I would rather dig out my own eyes with a dull spoon than live any longer in my torture-trailer…
What about inside Yellowstone park itself? Sure, I’d stay in the trailer. I’d stay in there because one of the most impressive places on the entire planet would be right outside my front door. But what if Yellowstone is closed, and the only other spots I can find are even farther from Yellowstone than Gardiner itself? Yeah, my butt is ripe for kissing on that one!
So, anyway, to get back to he point — I had to revive my long dead fake-account in order to join the magical, local-unicorns-only group that caters to Gardiner, Montana…
“Wanted, a 2-bedroom place to live that doesn’t cost a kidney. Oh, and no fucking trailers!”
Screw it, I’m just gonna go camp out with the damned bears. At least they’re warm.