That little devil came again. You know the one I’m talking about, the one that sits on your shoulder and convinces you to push the “sarcastic jerk” button…
…or…err…tell me that’s not just me…
I went to a trailhead this morning, intending to do a short (6-8 mile) hike before settling down to write for the rest of the day. I set out, but I forgot it was Saturday. Saturday…in July…in freaking Yellowstone. Now, look, you all know my, umm, distaste* for crowds on the hiking trails. It took just one look at all those cars lining the road and pullout near the trail I wanted to hike for me to shake my head, turn around, and decide a bit of off-trail travel seemed like a REALLY good idea just then.
*It’s a whole lot like my “distaste” for syphilis, as a matter of fact.
I didn’t do a whole lot of off-trail travel, I should explain. And I certainly didn’t go into any of the deeper, more inaccessible areas that I truly love. No, I still was focused on a short two-hour stint to stretch my legs and get my brain working. Up and down a few hills, across a couple of seasonal streams…even a bit of tramping through an annoying bog…
…oh, and, by the way: FUCK MOSQUITOES! Those little bastards just powered right through the damned spray I put on before I set out. Harrumph!!
Anyway, I didn’t have a goal for this hike. I was just wandering aimlessly. I did, when you get right down to it, my best impression of a normal bison: “Hmm, that looks good over there, I think I’ll just wander that way.” “I’m bored with this side of the stream, what’s it like on the other bank?” “I’m still hungry — and horny — so let’s try the far side of that hill.”
I crested said hill, and that’s when the little devil popped out.
Okay, so the little devil never actually goes away for me, but usually he’s quiet enough to let me be at least it a little bit civilized and polite.
This time, however, sarcastic jerk was just too tempting…
There they were, below me: a small bison herd snacking and napping at the base of the hill…and a giant tourist herd bison-spotting and selfie-ing on the road just past the poor bison.
Angel: “Be nice! You live here, you get to see and do things they don’t. They just don’t know any better. Go back and around the bison — like you’re supposed to! — then you can go onto the road and teach them about the wildlife and the really good places to see them.”
Devil: “Fuck that! Walk out right through the herd and laugh at all their expressions!”
Ummm…score one for the devil.