Run Away!

What do you do when you’ve lied so much, when you’ve pretended so much, that you have no way out?

What do you do when you know it’s all wrong, but you’ve sold everyone you know on just how right it all is?

You run away.runaway

When I left Yellowstone a couple of years ago, it wasn’t particularly what I wanted.  I did it for family reasons.  I did it because I “had to.”  Now, I don’t regret coming back for my family — I love my family more than anything else in this world, and I would do anything for any of them.

But…

But, it wasn’t what I wanted.

I’ve been miserable for the last year-and-a-half.  As evidence, I don’t have anything to offer other than this: I lost my words.

Oh, I could put together a blog post or two, but I couldn’t really write.  I couldn’t sit down and put together a scene that meant something.  Shit, I couldn’t even make myself uncomfortable with my own writing…so how the hell was I going to make my readers uncomfortable?!

Don’t get me wrong, I love Colorado.  I love the Rockies…I love the area, I love the people, I love my friends, I love…

Yeah, great…I love everything.  I fucking love everything.  I just can’t write here.  I have too much history in NoCo, too many ties, to set out and start in on the new story/viewpoint/perspective that I want and need to…

Honestly, I hate stagnating more than just about anything in the universe, but if I stayed around NoCo that is exactly what I would get.

So…

So, I’m leaving.  Again.

4181Yep, you guessed it: I’m heading up to Yellowstone again.  I mean, crap, what could possibly be better to get the creative juices flowing than dodging angry wolves and horny bears?!

Wait…what?  My family, you ask?

They think I’m nuts already, so it’s not like I’m going against type…

One of the things we hint around in writing is inertia: our protagonist’s inertia, our story’s inertia, our own inertia…  No matter what the source, that inertia is something we have to overcome in our story.  Whether it is the inciting incident we put in Act 1, or the tragic death of a loved-one we save for Act III, we (as writers) have to break our story’s inertia.

Well…

It ain’t just our stories that have inertia.  Sometimes — often times, to be honest — we have to break our own inertia, too.

For me, that breaking involves new adventures and far horizons…hell, in the next year or two I will very likely be making the same complain, but offering instead a year or two living in Dubrovnik or Krakow or Sorrento…

Welcome to my life.

 

**Musical Interlude:  this song came from a good friend of mine — one of my beta readers — as her unsolicited take on Oz — on both his history and his outlook on life.  That this song also works for me is all you have to know about just how much of myself there really is in Oz…

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