The End Is Nigh!

bob3Cower in fear, for the Four Horsemen ride!  War and Famine and Death and…the other one!

The brewery is out of beer…

No, really, totally out of cans.

All the certainties in my universe are gone.  Innocence is forever lost, and my dreams crushed under the jack-booted heels of “production problems”.  Crap, it’s like they repealed all of the laws of motion, even the ones I didn’t like.  It’s like Einstein sat up in his grave and said he got it all wrong.

What’s next?  My word processor runs out of letters?

Crap, I didn’t even want the stuff to DRINK!  I had a delivery to make, one I have to reschedule now…

*sigh*

No, this is not a first world problem, goddamit!  This is universal!  Beer is either the second or third oldest drink in the world (after water and, potentially, mead), and one that was drunk for millennia in preference to water!*  Hell, it was beer that got the Israelis through that Egyptian-slave-thing; that brought the Germanic tribes strolling down to Rome to create the seeds of modern Europe; that got the Vikings off their fat asses and sailing around…

*The brewing process kills and filters most of the contaminants and little critters that made old-school urban water so…erm…questionable.

No, you say?  It’s more complicated than that?  Bah!  A pox on you!  It’s my blog, I get to interpret history however I want!

Ahem…

Sorry.  My production-problems-caused trauma is turning to full-fledged PTSD on me.

Wait…

Wait a damned second…

ohno.jpgWhat if the beer never comes back?

WHAT IF THE BEER NEVER COMES BACK?!

Forget the Apocalypse…forget AIs exterminating us…forget nuclear wars and genetic plagues and all the other End of Days scenarios…THE BEER IS GONE!!

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