Templars and Masons and Rosicrucians, Oh My!

Reptilian people. Alien Overlords. Occult ceremonies. Financial manipulation. Political….err, normalcy.

God, I love conspiracy theories! They are the most entertaining things in the world. Especially this year…I don’t even want to talk about this year’s politics. Nope, I’m on strike in that regard. No politics…and certainly no election. They don’t exist.

imageLA LA LA…I’m not listening!

Conspiracy theories make infinitely more sense than a single minute of the 2016 election season.

So, I have this pile of books on conspiracies and secret societies to read for research on the (potential) next book. Hell, I’ve been reading this stuff off-and-on since around 2000, maybe a few years earlier. Hey, what do you want? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast, and you want me to remember when I read my first conspiracy theory book? Crikey.

The hard part is paring all of that insanity (fun, but still looney as all get-out) into a useable plot…preferably one that does not mirror, mimic or otherwise copy that best of all conspiracy theory novels, Foucault’s Pendulum. You haven’t read it, you say? Go, now, and get it. I’ll wait. GO! I say.

Do I go big, and focus on worldwide dominance? A war between secret societies? Or go small, and work through one guy’s view “from the inside”?

The hard part of starting a new book–for me–isn’t the writing itself. Hell, the writing is the fun part. No, it’s staring at the blank paper where a plot outline is supposed to be. Especially since I love characters and character-driven stories. Thrillers and mysteries and other plot-driven stuff? Those are, to be honest, something of a slog for me to even read, let alone write. I’m not sure I could pull off a purely plot-driven story. Hell, that’s a big part of why I can’t write short fiction to save my life.hh-animals-squirrel-4

Dammit…another ADD moment…SQUIRREL!!

Never mind. Back to plots. And, well, characters.

I do think I’ve found my protagonist and POV. Still working on the tone and voice, but it is coming together. I want this to be a comedy, so that frees up the voice quite a bit…now I just have to watch a shit-ton of comedies to get my brain into that mode.


Sorry, the other potential story was, err, misbehaving. Anyone know where I can get a shock collar for a ghost?

At any rate, slackers are the key to this story at this point. There may or may not be…ahem…some autobiographical elements to that part of the character. Stop judging me, I freely admit to my slackerdom! One of the things I do plan to do with this particular story is play with locations and settings. I’ve spent a wee bit of time in Europe, and I absolutely have to use places like Prague and Kraków and Dubrovnik and….crap, that list could go on for a while. Let’s just say I know every, err, well, brewery between here and Moscow.

Oh…and mullets. Somewhere in this damn book, someone will have a mullet.

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